Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Hilarity does not ensue! The good and bad of my post surgical follow up

I had my post surgical follow up today... Fortunately we got GOOD news! THANK god! 
The OB said we caught it just in time, all of the cells they got out were CIN3(carcinoma in-situ stage 3). 
But they did get it all out and it hasn't spread. So at this point they'll do paps every 6 months till i get 2 back to back clear ones then I go every year.  I got a copy of the pathology report and took it right over my my IVF clinic so the dr could call me back as far as a timeline.  And here's where I get upset...  SO i just got off the phone with the RE(reproductive dr) not too long ago (yes she called me at almost 10pm but I'm glad she did) she said she took my report to their pathologist in her office and wanted to know what my OB explained to me. So I did and she said that the ob's explanation wasn't exactly accurate and that CIN3 cells are ACTUALLY cancer. And that they are isolated cells and haven't spread to surrounding tissues! WTH! I'm floored and kinda upset that the ob "played things down" for me. The RE was really 'delicate" 
about it and told me that she had spoke to her pathologist to get more info about the diagnosis and to get a good idea of the healing time and wanted to make sure I "fully" understood what was going on. Needless to say i'm feeling kinda indifferent. It was bad enough thinking it was pre-cancerous but knowing it was cancer REALLY scares the hell out of me. I'm not trying to start a pity party but I am WAY to young to be worried about stuff like this. Just the idea that I could leave my husband, son and family seems completely unimaginable.  It makes me have some serious anxiety just thinking about it.  

On a positive note the RE said i'd technically be good to do a FET (frozen embryo transfer)cycle in sept but she's prefer October to make sure i'm 100% healed. So at least we have a rough timeline in place and it gives me something to look forward to. This is probably going to sounds terrible but I'm glad we are going forth with trying to conceive again b/c after all of this I'm kind of scared that it could come back again. Next time I may not be as lucky and they'd have to do something radical. I know I should stay positive and not think like that but I really don't want Brayden to have to be an only child.  

Back to the rest of my OB appt... So the OB did give me a script to bloodwork done to reconfirm that I am RH sensitive. she said they almost never see this happen. If i definitely am sensitized it happens in less than 1% of patients who received the rhogam. OF COURSE!  I have to laugh b/c that's' my luck. As soon as we get pregnant again(see I'm thinking positive) I HAVE to see the Maternal Fetal Medicine (MFM aka high risk dr) for monitoring in the even I have an rh+ baby. She also said the LEEP procedure I had done can weaken my cervix so we have to keep that in mind and I'd have to see the MFM anyway. I also explained to her the insane cycle that I have been having. I got my cycle on my own and it was only 25 days! Now that's some record breaking stuff! lol  I've NEVER had a cycle that short on my own. Anyway, it's been insanely painful like labor contractions, TMI passing tissues and all kinds of non-classy nastyness (lol) and still hasn't stopped,
13 days later! At this point it is one of two things either my body is in shock from the procedure and i'm having an annovulatory bleed (aka i didn't ovulate but my body started a cycle) or there's the possibility for a miscarriage. So i'm going with shock, b/c I can't bear to process any more situations at this point. Plus the RE confirmed in June that I just don't ovulate. So unless I spontaneously ovulated there is absolutely no way.  

Needless to day I've been feeling really defeated and am over getting bad news. In light of it all I'm trying to stay positive and I feel really lucky that we caught things before they really took a turn for the worse. *sigh*

In celebration of the LEEP completely removing the cancerous cells
here's where the dr underlined it on my pathology report.  

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